Flirting with Squirting: How, why and can I?

Speaking gushingly

It might be the most disliked word in the entire English language - and along with ‘discharge’ and ‘horchata’ one of the only nouns Cardi B won’t use - but when it comes to sex, ‘moist’ is best. Whether it's swapped saliva, spurting semen, cascading cervical fluid, watersports or spitplay, getting wet is part of getting down for most of us. It’s little surprise, then, that for those with vulvas and those who are into them, few things whet the sexual appetite more than the possibility of squirting: the sudden expulsion of fluids from down below.

When it comes to squirting, and how it relates to female ejaculation (FE) - also used to describe the release of fluids following stimulation - it’s a grey area, and fifty shades of them at that. To differentiate, we’re taking squirting as the extensive, explosive kind that soaks anything in its unstoppable trajectory. If you’ve not seen it firsthand, you may have seen it in porn, jetstream style.

FE, meanwhile, encompasses any form of ejaculation, but usually refers to the milkier fluid released a little less dramatically during sexual stimulation. While the difference is that of a leaky tap and a power shower, some see squirting as a form of FE, while others think it should be considered as an entirely different thing altogether (the ‘leak’ might be a hint to what that thing is, but let’s get to that later).

So, bucket and mop in hand, let’s dive into the world of FE…

Erroneous zones: where does it come from?

First up - and don’t worry it’s not a stupid question at all - where the hell does it come from? While the lack of research might suggest it’s a new topic for discussion, female ejaculation has actually been talked about for millenia. Hippocrates, way back in 400BC, wrote about female ‘semen’, and Taoist texts made it sound all rather poetic talking about ‘moon flower’, but there was little conception of where it might originate, including some wild chat about sperm coming from blood. The real seminal text, though, came from Regnier de Graaf. Titled Concerning the Generative Organs of Women, it identified the source of female ejaculation as the ducts surrounding the urethra, comparing them to the male prostate. The gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg corroborated this and lent his second initial to the area, terming it - you guessed it - the G Spot.

After the iconic duo de Graaf and Gräfenberg got lucky, this area of interest became known as the Skene’s glands (named after another man, sigh). To this day it’s still thought to be the origin of FE. During sexual arousal, the tissue around them swells and becomes tumescent, with some people experiencing a secretion of fluid. This milky fluid contains prostate-specific-antigen (PSA), the protein found in semen, plus some glucose and fructose, sweetening the deal. The purpose? It’s still unknown, but some theorize that FE actually helps to protect the body from UTIs through its antimicrobial properties, helping you pee painlessly. And, on that note…

Is squirting a piss take?

We now know that FE involves a PSA-based fluid, but what of squirting? Unbelievably, the jury’s still out on this one, making it the most hellish question you could possibly ask a teacher taking a Sex-Ed class. If you ever needed proof that sexual science is biased towards men, the fact that we’ve still not wrapped our heads around this seems a pretty strong piece of evidence. Anyway, many of those who are able to squirt often describe it as feeling like they’re going to pee. While the end result might seem different and a lot more pleasurable, the comparison might not be as far off as it first sounds.

After millenia of very little research, a 2015 study involved seven women who had reported expelling up to 100ml of liquid during sex. After entirely emptying their bladders, they were then stimulated close to orgasm, with an ultrasound showing that their bladders had quickly filled back up. Then, following squirting, another ultrasound showed the bladders of all seven women as totally empty, suggesting that the liquid was pee. While analysis of the squirt fluid showed some levels of PSA, it was almost entirely urine, suggesting that squirting is a pleasurable emptying of the bladder, sometimes mixed with a little bit of simultaneous FE mixed in. Many of those in the scientific community accept this as true, but squirt-is-not-pee advocates still contend it: the 2015 trial, after all, did only contain seven women, some of the participants’ squirt contained small amounts of urine and penile ejaculate also contains pee. Sex writer Epiphora started an entire #NotPee campaign that went viral, arguing from experience that the fluids she produced when squirting looked and smelled nothing like urine. Others, too, point to the fact that while it might come from the bladder, its heavily-diluted nature means it’s no more pee than, say, urea-containing sweat.

No spray, no lay

This contention between both schools of thought has led to a number of issues. First up, the pornification of squirting has led to other women feeling pressured to squirt for their partner’s pleasure, especially if they’ve already achieved it before. While kinks are ace and if you’re into squirting as a man, that’s cool, it’s a bad idea to obsess over realizing it purely for personal satisfaction, as opposed to the squirter’s. Exploring how to squirt should be on your own terms, not someone else’s.

On the total other side of the story, many women have complained of being shamed for squirting, as its conflation with pee leads some tactless partners to freak out, or health officials misdiagnosing it as urinary incontinence. Increasing the taboo further, there’s the whole fact that the UK actually banned FE from being represented in porn along with a load of other fun stuff including facesitting, watersports and spanking; yet, yawn yawn, they were still all good with men shooting their seed wherever they pleased.

Going into liquidation

So, you’ve been given the lowdown; now, how to make yourself squirt? When it comes to the more generic FE, at least, estimates (again, rubbish research) suggest anywhere between 10-54% of women can ejaculate. Squirting, it seems, is likely on the lower end of the range, but there are some methods that might help you get there.

Once again, the G-Spot is key: it’s located about two inches into your vagina towards the stomach, so the best way to get to it is to curl your fingers and press upwards to stimulate it, use a vibrator made to reach it, or - if with a partner - be penetrated from behind.

This is where the good stuff comes in handy: lube, lots of it. Use a natural lube like Roam’s (and vegan lube, even better!) to make it easier, less sore and more pleasurable. It’s best to stay relaxed and avoid any expectations; in the same way that it’s difficult to come when you’re overthinking it, you’re unlikely to be able to squirt for the first time if you’re all tensed up. If you feel like you might pee, that’s a good sign; keep going, and you might just end up squirting. Right, we know what you’re thinking: that’s because they’re the same.

Well, whether you conclude that squirting is pee, a little bit of pee, or sweet FE, if it feels good, who the hell cares? There’s only one thing we can probably all agree on - if you’ve not got a bucket and mop to hand, for the sake of your bedsheets, it’s a very good idea to put down a towel or two…