Behind Every Man is a Great Woman: Pegging 101

But before we all dive into the cool waters of pegging lake, you have to know what you’re doing. Going on a new adventure is fun, but staying safe and giving you and your partner true delight is the aim of any erogenous exploration.

What is pegging?

Pegging is the act of penetrating a partner’s back door using a dildo or strap-on.

Although some people misconstrue pegging as a heterosexuals-only zone, it actually has nothing to do with the way you sway. Remember that how and when you receive pleasure (or give it) isn’t your entire sexuality. Embrace your partner and then immerse yourself in their sexual essence. Explore together and see where your lusts lead you.

Pegging can stimulate the P-spot, which is the male version of the G-spot and provide a whole new world of sensation the more you roam. Cooking with new spices is always a test and try as you go experience, so make sure you’re getting enthusiastic, clear consent before trying to peg your partner.

Perception

Many people have the perception that pegging is, in some way, ‘not normal’. That’s not true at all, in fact around 1 in 10 womxn have admitted to pegging their partner in studies, which places them ahead of the 45% who don’t even know what it is! As for how much is too much… when it comes to pegging, only you can answer that. For years people have been doing whatever acts you can conceive of (or not) in the privacy of their bedrooms, so do what feels good to you, however often you’d like, with whomever is giving you the consent to do so. Worrying about ‘being normal’ is usually a fear of judgement, and as long as you feel good and are staying safe, it’s no one else’s business what brings you and your partner pleasure.

So now we’ve put that to bed. Let’s get started!

Getting Prepared

One of the most enticing things about pegging is switching up the power dynamics. Challenging taboos about male pleasure by discovering all the ways you like to get down, is a way of shedding the societal constraints of ‘masculinity’. Enjoying the caresses of your partner should never be a shaming experience (unless you’re into that). As we’re all aware, feeling truly sexy starts in stimulating the mind. Opening up to new adventures is a particularly luscious way to do just that.

But pegging isn’t all in the mind. The practical side of play requires, at first, a conversation. Opening up to your partner about your desires and discussing all the ways you’d like to pursue pleasure is a pragmatic, but equally illuminating step to getting exactly what your head and heart long for.

To make the most of pegging, it’s important that you discover each others’ bodies fully before committing. There’s no rush to get to the strap, try teasing and tempting your partner with other parts of your body (or any object, just remember to use something with a flared base). For some people this might be a part of their body they’ve never explored before, so it’s important to take things slow, do some relaxing breathing together and listen to your partner. Clean your hands, trim your nails, and have a good system of ascertaining continued consent. The classic ‘traffic light’ system of green = good, amber = unsure and red = no, is always helpful.

Let’s talk equipment

Immersing yourself in the new world of play can be a little daunting. To get pegging, it’s best not to think of any act as a goal, but rather, as a new way of putting trust in, and being turned on by your partner(s). That being said, there are some things you should be prepared with before you peg.

Firstly, equipment. You’ll need a strap harness, they can come in many different kinds, but if you’re someone that has a clitoris, it might be a good idea to go for one that can stimulate you at the same time – good vibes all round! You’ll also need a lot of lube, probably more than you’d think. Not all parts of our bodies are able to lubricate themselves, so any kind of back-action will require your fave lube. And don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Last of all, you’ll need the dildo. Picking a dildo together can be sexy and thrilling. There’s not much better than giggling with your partner in a sex shop or scrolling through the pages of your favourite discreet-packaging site and looking at all the options you could discover together.

Now we’ve gone over the essentials, let’s get into the act itself.

How to peg

When it comes to putting your peg into practice, there are three main rules: foreplay, go slow, and use loads of lube.

Foreplay. Foreplay is important for a variety of reasons, but helping you to relax is one of the most crucial. Anything you can do to relax the anal muscles will help, so a long warm bath and some deep breaths go a long way. You can try gently inserting a single finger first, accompanied with some lube. The prostate is about two inches inside your partner’s anus and towards the front of their body (not so far from where the G-spot is). To get going, use your fingers to massage the spot and find out exactly where it is. Locating the right spot may cause a (pleasureful) tickling sensation for your partner.

Go slow. Whilst the strap/finger/butt plug is being inserted, make sure you’re taking calm breaths. Breathing in and out slowly will help you to relax and make everything smoother. Try to keep the strap inside for a little while (without moving it) to help you both relax and get used to the sensation. There’s a new feeling coming your way so it might take a minute or two to feel more at ease with it. If it hurts, which at the start it often does, take the dildo out and repeat the insertion process until you or your partner is able to relax their anal muscles. When, and only when, the person being penetrated is relaxed and gives permission, you can start to thrust. Go SLOWLY and GENTLY at first, otherwise you may find the experience painful and off-putting. The foundation of pegging is patience, after all.

Lube. This step is pretty self explanatory. Use as much or as little as you like, if it feels good, you’re doing it right. We recommend using lots, and working it in during foreplay, and topping up throughout.

Managing expectations

A lot of people have concerns about pegging and most of the rumours about it flourish from misunderstanding and taboo. The most common are that: pegging will hurt, that it’s not normal, or that pegging means something about your sexuality. First things first, if you like pegging – or any anal play – as a guy, it doesn’t make you gay. It doesn’t actually make you anything except someone who is turned on by their partner and loves exploring with them.

Next, pegging isn’t necessarily going to hurt. We concede that the first time it can be sore or uncomfortable, and, if done incorrectly/in a rush, pegging can even be painful. But, using proper lube and taking things at a snail’s pace will ensure you maximise enjoyment. Pleasure and pain tread parallel lines, but if they start to converge, make sure you pause or stop completely, and take some time to reflect and reconvene.

Everyone’s first time is different and sometimes sex can be awkward, but new sensations take a few tries to get right – if you own a vagina, you know what we’re talking about. It’s important that you and your partner both feel empowered by your pegging experience. Whether that’s through making sure there’s less mess by douching beforehand or being attentive and caring in your necessary aftercare. Making love with someone you like can be intense, a little scary, and completely blissful – that’s a LOT of feelings. Look after your partner and treat them with gentle care.

Have fun!

The most important part of any sex act is that you’re doing it for you. Try new things and while you’re at it, keep it fun and lighthearted. By keeping conversations open with your partner, you can spark new desires and frolic with passion.