From lifestyle to libido: how lifestyle factors affect your sex drive

Libido is an ever-changing and never-linear thing. Our libidos can fluctuate in response to seemingly minor triggers. For example, lack of sleep the night before, adjustment to new meds, low mood due to daily stresses and irritations, and even the weather, can bring that sex drive right down, while - on the flip side - you might experience a libido boost from being super attracted to someone, wearing something you feel sexy in or watching a sexy scene in Bridgerton, for example. These smaller triggers are not necessarily worrying, but they’re present and worth understanding.

However, it’s good to be aware that there are more consistent lifestyle habits that also have an effect on libido. Such as...

What you eat

If the take-out and fast-food boxes are rapidly piling up, it’s likely to have an effect on your sex drive. Consistently not getting enough nutrients, neglecting your body by over or under-eating, or eating food that has you feeling tired, sore, ill, or bloated afterwards will certainly pull you out of the feel-good mood required for active and energetic sex. 

What you drink

Food - checked. But what about drink?

A drink or two can increase sexual arousal, but it’s not a guarantee - alcohol affects sleep quality, makes you sluggish and tired and decreases genital response. It’s more difficult to get hard, and to get wet (this is not just a penis problem, people!). Most people know this about alcohol, but drinking is so ingrained into social events and everyday lives that we don’t notice how much it’s holding us back sexually.

How you feel

It sounds obvious enough, but your mood and your libido are best friends which love to be synced. As your mood fluctuates, your libido follows. Of course, serious and consistent tolls on your mental health will affect libido, but even the more trivial daily stresses and anxieties will push your sex life into the margins for a short while.

What happens in life

Any major life effect which causes trauma or intense sadness, like losing a loved one, for example, or even shifts like starting a new job, moving house, or a breakup, could affect your libido majorly. When going through a time of mental instability and exhaustion, it makes sense that you’d be more immersed in your mind and lose touch with your body.

Understanding what causes lowered libido is useful to ease frustration, but it shouldn’t be an ‘easy fix’. In times of loss and grief, it’s important to honour your feelings, and not rush your body into anything it’s not ready for, all the while knowing that healing is the priority.

When you've got chemistry

Sometimes it can be this simple. You need to find your sexual partner attractive and if you don’t, it can be a major mood killer. More than this, the quality of the sex you experience can become tied up with your mental associations – whether or not you’re regularly having fulfilling and stimulating sex will impact how much more of it you want to have.

Often, sexual dynamics might represent how things operate on a wider scale within that relationship, and vice versa. If there are unaddressed issues or negative emotions, they are likely to resurface during sex sessions. Communicate your feelings and desires for the most satisfying and authentic sexual experiences.

When you move

You’d think free time = more time to have sex, but staying active and busy is actually what gets us going. Although work occupies a big part of most people’s lives, it’s useful to pick up a hobby or an individual passion which gets you excited about life in a new way. Mental and physical stimulation works wonders for the sex life. Pilates, daily walks, reading, pottery – whatever it is that jumps out at you, jump on it. And then jump on your crush.

Love,

Roam